Monday, March 14, 2011

Meaningless SpamPuffery

I opted to check out the quarantined spam messages on my Sustainability History Project website and found a funny pattern that I have not experienced with my email spam.

My email spam is predominately about porn, V!agra, a panoply of other pharmaceuticals, and those ridiculous 419 scams. All of these kinds of spam and scams have existed for so long that I'm surprised that they're still around -- surprised, that is, that there are still enough people among us who are so dense as to fall for these kinds of scams to keep the scammers in business.

One of these days I may write a rant about this ridiculous dynamic, but this post is not going to be such a rant. This post is about the funny theme I noticed in the quarantined spam messages on the Sustainability History Project website . . .

The refreshingly perspicacious Bullett wrote to me that
    A lot of the things you claim happens to be astonishingly legitimate and that makes me wonder the reason why I had not looked at this with this light before. This piece truly did turn the light on for me personally as far as this issue goes. Nevertheless at this time there is actually 1 issue I am not really too comfortable with and whilst I make an effort to reconcile that with the actual core idea of your issue, permit me observe just what all the rest of the subscribers have to point out. Well done.
Wow, Bullett -- Sarah Palin herself could not have said it more clearly. Thanks.

Mugica wanted to let me know that, well,
    Wow! This could be one particular of the most beneficial blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Basically Magnificent. I’m also a specialist in this topic therefore I can understand your effort.
Coming from a specialist on the topic, Mugica's eloquence and erudition is quite profound, and her/his contribution to the discussion is certainly of inestimable value. Bravo!

maxig19 wrote something that is undoubtedly also profound, as it was written in Dostoevsky's mother tongue, but I wish that maxig19 had picked up on the fact that the entire SHP website is written in English for people who can speak some modicum of English. I don't wish to come across as chauvinist, but, in the interest of communication and the advancement of intellectual pursuits broadly, I would have appreciated at least some attempt to communicate to us in this language. I'm willing to meet non-native speakers 3/4 of the way, but I do need some help -- I am an inadequately-educated American, after all!
    основной вид деятельности компании с 1999 года. Сегодня мы имеем разветвленную сеть филиалов по всей России, распологаем высококвалифицированным опытным персоналом и необходимым

Gracious dave, whose email for some reason starts with "Mukai9759," says some things that absolutely warm the cockles of my heart:
    Nice post. The info presented here was the greatest I could find all day long, and I have been searching tough on the Internet. I believe you should put this up on a large social bookmarking website, you will discover that it spreads like wildfire – Cheers – dave
dave, as long as you're not planning to spread herpes or spam to this website like wildfire, I'm all for it!

Halterman1321 also has some kind words to send our way:
    I truly like the fresh perpective you did on the issue. Truly was not expecting that when I started off studying. Your concepts had been easy to comprehend that I wondered why I never looked at it prior to. Glad to know that there’s an individual out there that certainly understands what he’s discussing. Great job
Oh, dearest Halterman1321, you're too kind. I'm glad to know that even though I strive to complete my sentences, spell my words correctly, and understand myself what I'm trying to write before I write it, that what I write can can be sufficiently intelligible to people who are not so motivated. You prove to me that the Internet can be a tool that brings us together . . . just like love.

earth145 writes:
    thanks !! very helpful post!
Thanks, earth145, very helpful post yourself! You've truly contributed to the broader understanding of the complex issues we're grappling with, and articulated a profound range of ideas from which we shall all surely benefit! Kudos to you!! You should definitely come by for tea some time.

Vaeth468 comes to us with a job opportunity:
    Awe inspiring post, do you have contact details? I need a writer for my website
Excellent! I thought I had a great chance to sit at home in my skivvies and earn $20K per month! That's what Vaeth468 promised me. The weird thing is, shortly after I gave Vaeth468 my SSN and bank account info, all of my computer passwords were stolen and my bank accounts were zeroed-out. What does this mean? When is the first paycheck coming my way? Why is the IRS hounding me????

Leza3042 writes:
    Keep ‘em coming… you all do such a great job at such Concepts… can’t tell you how much I, for one appreciate all you do!
Wait a minute . . . !!

I think I'm starting to detect patterns here: generic praise not related in any way to the content of a particular post; Cyrillic-language comments; invitations to navigate to a webpage and leave my personal information . . .

I think they're trying to play me for a sucker, just like they did when they got me to order v|agra and offered me #1 Millions U.S.A. Dolars to send my bank account info to the Honorable Dr. Motumbo Zayibi from Nigeria.

Bollocks to them. They won't get me a third time!!!



  1. Oh, my, yes. Last week I did the same thing: looked at the spam. So many people who have so much time to do so little, with such industrious, affable, nonsensical insouciance!
    Now I is one of them.

  2. The part about this whole thing that boggles my mind is the fact that if there weren't a critical mass of people who actually respond to this kind of spam, it wouldn't exist!

    To me this means that in some instances homo sapiens is not an accurate name for the species.